A couple rushed into the hospital because the wife was going into labor. As they hurried down the hall, a doctor stopped them and said, “I’ve invented a machine that can split the pain of childbirth between the mother and the father.” They agreed and were taken into a room where they were hooked up to the machine. The doctor started it at 20% transferred to the father. The wife said, “Oh, that’s actually better.” The...

A Lexus mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of an LS460 when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was waiting for the service manager to look at his car. The mechanic shouted to the waiting cardiologist, “Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?” A bit surprised, the cardiologist walked over to where the mechanic was working. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on...

A man tells his doctor that he isn't able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the examination is complete, he says, "Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me." "Well, in plain English," the doctor replies, "you're just lazy." "Okay," says the man. "Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife."

A young doctor had moved to a small community near Broken Hill to replace a doctor who was retiring. The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds so that the community would become used to their new doctor. At the first house a woman complains, “I’ve been a little sick to my stomach.” The older doctor says, “Well, you’ve probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amo...

A guy walks into a clinic to have his blood type taken. The nurse goes about taking the blood sample from his finger after finishing she looks around for a piece of cotton to wipe away the excess blood. She can't find it so she looks innocently at the guy and takes his finger and sucks it. The guy is so pleased he asks; "Do you think i could have a urine test done?"