The hitting coach for the Cubs entered the manager’s office. “Skipper,” he said, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news.” “What’s the good news?” the manager asked. “You know that new pitching machine we bought to help the guys with batting practice? We got it installed, and the players started using it today.” “Okay,” said the manager, “what’s the bad news?” “It just beat us 5–1.”

A man had tickets to the Grand-Final. As he sits down, another man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. “No,” he says, “the seat is vacant.” “This is incredible!” the other man says. “Who in their right mind would leave a seat like this for the Grand-Final?” The man replies, “Well actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the firs...

After giving up three runs in the top of the first inning, the manager runs out of the dugout to talk to his rookie pitcher. Manager: “Son, I think I’ve figured out what your problem is. You lose control at the exact same point in every game.” Rookie: “When’s that, coach?” Manager: “Right after the National Anthem.”

Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball. Abe turns to Sol and asks, “Do you think there’s baseball in Heaven?” Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, “I dunno. But let’s make a deal — if I die first, I’ll come back and tell you if there’s baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same.” They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes o...

A man enters the emergency room with two black eyes, multiple lacerations, and a seven iron wrapped around his neck. The doctor pulls him into one of the examining rooms and says, "What the hell happened to you, my friend?" "Well, doc," the man replies, "It's like this. My wife and I were out on the golf course off the eighth tee when we both wind up slicing into a cow pasture next to the course. So we both head into...