A guy runs into a childhood friend and asks what he’s doing these days. Guy: “What are you doing for yourself these days?” Friend: “I’m a fireman.” Guy: “Yeah? My 15-year-old kid wants to be a fireman.” The friend nods like a professional and offers advice. Friend: “If you want some good advice, you’ve got to install a pole in your house that goes down to the basement. The hardest thing for a fireman is jumping off i...

Tom and Jack, two government maintenance workers, were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. “We’re supposed to find the height of the flagpole,” said Tom, “but we don’t have a ladder.” The woman said, “Hand me that wrench from your toolbox.” She loosened a few bolts, laid the pole down, took a tape measure, and said, “Eighteen feet, six inches,” then walked...

When the CEO of a company gets arrested for embezzlement, he makes a frantic phone call to his lawyer. The lawyer meets him in the police station. “Listen,” the CEO says, “I’ve got at least two million stashed in a Caymans account. Can you get me out of this?” “Believe me,” the lawyer says, “there is no way you’re going to prison with that kind of money.” True to his word, the lawyer made sure that ten months later,...

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 is there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new Employee. He complains that she is incredibly s...

Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off. I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!" He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts "I'M A LIGHT BULB! I'M A LIGHT BULB!" Murphy watches in amazement! The Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home". So he leaves the site. Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well. "Where the hell are you going?" asks the Foreman....

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the manager. Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the first applicant and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other appl...