A preacher is finishing a fiery sermon about the dangers of alcohol. With great emotion, he raises his voice.

Preacher: “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river!”

With even more emphasis, he continues.

Preacher: “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river!”

Finally, pounding the pulpit, he declares:

Preacher: “And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river!”

Satisfied, the preacher sits down.

The song leader slowly stands up, smiles carefully, and addresses the congregation.

Song Leader: “For our closing hymn, let us sing Hymn 365: ‘Shall We All Gather at the River.’”