The husband comes home worried because he has a scratch on his chest, clearly caused by a fingernail from his mistress.

He opens the door, sees the cat asleep on the couch, and gives it a tremendous kick.

The cat lets out a loud “MEOW!” and runs out the door.

A little later, the wife comes into the living room and asks what happened.

The husband angrily replies, “This cat is crazy! I was just walking in and, out of nowhere, he jumped on me and scratched my chest.”

“Look at that hell of a scratch!”

The wife looks at him and calmly replies, “You did very well. Today that bastard bit my ass and gave me one hell of a hickey on my neck.”