A young bloke with his pants hanging halfway down, two gold front teeth, and a thick gold chain around his neck walks into Centrelink to sign some paperwork.

Man: “Hi. You know, I really hate being on the dole. I’d rather have a job. I don’t like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing.”

The social worker behind the counter looks up and smiles.

Social Worker: “Your timing is excellent. We’ve just had a job opening come in.”

Social Worker: “A very wealthy old man is looking for a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You’ll be driving his Mercedes-Benz, and all your clothes will be supplied.”

Social Worker: “Meals are included, and you’ll escort her on overseas trips. And… as part of the job, you’ll also be expected to satisfy her romantic needs.”

The bloke stares wide-eyed in disbelief.

Man: “You’re bullshittin’ me!”

Social Worker: “Yeah… well, you started it.”