Bob and Ralph went hiking through the woods one morning.

While taking a break, Bob stepped behind a tree to relieve himself.

Unfortunately, he startled a rattlesnake, which bit him squarely on the penis.

Bob screamed in pain, and Ralph came running.

“Oh my God!” Bob yelled. “You’ve got to call 911!”

Ralph pulled out his phone and called for help.

“I’ve got an emergency!” he said. “My friend was just bitten by a rattlesnake! What should we do?”

The dispatcher replied calmly, “Take it easy, sir. You need to make two small incisions over the bite and suck out the poison.”

“I see,” Ralph said, and hung up.

Bob looked up at him in panic and asked, “What did they say?”

Ralph answered, “He said you’re gonna die, man.”