Two law partners, Ed and Joe, are driving through the country one evening during a vacation when their car breaks down near a farmhouse. They knock on the door, and an attractive lady dressed in black opens it. “Can I help you?” she asks. Ed says, “Our car broke down, it’s getting late, and we were wondering if you could put us up for the night?” The lady shakes her head. “I don’t think so. I’m recently a widow, and...

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 is there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new Employee. He complains that she is incredibly s...

A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?" A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life is four little animals, just like my Mom always says". The teacher asked, "Really and what four little animals would that be?" The little girl said, "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed and a jackass to pay for all of it." The teacher got a coughing fit a...

A guy walks into a clinic to have his blood type taken. The nurse goes about taking the blood sample from his finger after finishing she looks around for a piece of cotton to wipe away the excess blood. She can't find it so she looks innocently at the guy and takes his finger and sucks it. The guy is so pleased he asks; "Do you think i could have a urine test done?"

A man enters the emergency room with two black eyes, multiple lacerations, and a seven iron wrapped around his neck. The doctor pulls him into one of the examining rooms and says, "What the hell happened to you, my friend?" "Well, doc," the man replies, "It's like this. My wife and I were out on the golf course off the eighth tee when we both wind up slicing into a cow pasture next to the course. So we both head into...