A blonde is driving her Mini down the highway when she notices another blonde in a boat out in the middle of a cornfield. The blonde in the boat is rowing like she’s on open water. The blonde in the car gets frustrated, pulls over, and steps out to confront her. “HEY YOU IN THE BOAT! I’M TALKING TO YOU!” The blonde in the boat turns, waves, and continues rowing. “IT’S BLONDES LIKE YOU THAT GIVE US A BAD NAME, AND I’D...

Two men were marooned on an island. One man paced back and forth, worried and scared, while the other man sat back and was sunning himself. The first man said to the second man, “Aren’t you afraid we are about to die?” “No,” said the second man. “You see, I make $100,000 per week and I tithe faithfully to my church every week. My pastor will find me.”

Two friends rented a boat and fished in a lake every day. One day they caught 30 fish. One guy said to his friend, "Mark this spot so that we can come back here again tomorrow." The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat, the same guy asked his friend, "Did you mark that spot?" His friend replied, "Yeah, I put a big 'X' on the bottom of the boat." The first one said, "You stupid fool! What if they give us...

Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off. I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!" He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts "I'M A LIGHT BULB! I'M A LIGHT BULB!" Murphy watches in amazement! The Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home". So he leaves the site. Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well. "Where the hell are you going?" asks the Foreman....

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagonload of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, "Hey, Willis, forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I'll help you get the wagon up later." "That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think Pa would like me to." "Aw, come on, boy," the farmer insisted. "Well, OK," the boy finally agreed, and added, "but Pa won't...

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says, "Calm down, sir, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "Okay, now what?"